Subject X: scarred

The worst scars I have are not on my body.

They are not invisible really.

They can be masked a tad.

But they are always there.

At times they become readily apparent and those who have yet to notice are sometimes frightened.



Subject X: thee, thou and thine

You really understand any of these things?

Me either.

Thee ____ has come to see thou ‘to discuss thine.

They are all pro nouns.

Pro nouns. Get it?

Book: “Marvel not that I said unto THEE, YE must be born again.”


15 people on my Christmas gift list thus far: oh spending freeze? Oh oh oh

I didn’t even realize I knew that many people.

I know more than that. Danga.

List may get longer.

May not.

Naughty or Nice?

OK I funded all my remaining monthly bills, plus my car tags and license renewal, from cash in hand.

My cash on hand on Tuesday will mostly be funded by my current cash on hand plus three shifts of tips.

Those funds will cover the majority of my Christmas budget. I will finalize it on Monday night (Tuesday morning).

I don’t want to use savings for bills or Christmas.

In the next three days, I should make a decent amount of Z money.

Christmas will be funded by 12/19. Rest of month monies received will be used for next month’s rent and savings….

Spending freeze.

Except for Christmas.

Alter I prefer.


High Coup





William Shakespeare is now doing evening news.

He and Lord Byron.

Or maybe it is Kerouac or Ginsberg or some other lit person.


We will be right back after this Shakespeare fishing equipment commercial.

We’re back. Wait. What? Oh we ain’t back yet.

We can’t decide is this is a comedy or a tragedy.

So watch this and we will decide.

This has been the Haiku news, the coups are adding up and not.


Are you altered?

Monarch, King Butterfly flapping its wings….

What effects?

Special effects?

And this whole metamorphosis?

Monarch? Just another subtle joke on humanity.


Subject X: thou

In the book, the thou person is me, and you.

Same word, different people, often way different.

It is such that thou does not know thou, much of time.

thou people. Thou.



Roentgen Equivalent Man?

Rapid Eye Movement?

Does thou know?

aren’t thou a monster?

Alters in fighting all Z damn time here. Thou?


Subject X: party of one

My alters keep me company.

It is a full house, so to speak.


You see the alters?


Scarred I am. All my being is.


I could not find the video again.

Probably just as well.


How many of you got called a freak today?

Roll call.



My padded room is an engineering masterpiece.

I hadn’t built any armor in a while. The padded room is armor.

It will stop quite a bit.

It is designed specifically for airguns.

It will stop all I have almost indefinitely.

My steel BBs don’t penetrate or ricochet as I have it perfectly tuned.

They fall on padded rooms floor all nice and neat. I pick them up use them again.

I have been thinking about armor designs some but I have had other things to deal with and I just have not been willing to spend more time and money on armor.

But now, I am considering a build or two or more….


Subject X: self fulfilling prophecies

It is probably ironic for a mind control subject to have self fulfilling prophecies.

When I analyze this Question Mark process in its entirety, I can’t help but see what appear to be self fulfilling prophesies.

But are they?

And the moment of clarity?

Become self propelled prophesy, and most likely, hush.


Who is in charge?


What do I desire to know anyway?


The horror and the clutter

There are many who call themselves warriors.

I am not one of them warriors.

Not really.

I know some warriors.

Far as I know, they all good.

I see why they want to be warriors, sort of.

I recognize that it is relatively possible I may need warrior qualities.

Sometimes I worry. Then I am a worrier.


Asshole Gunday Morning Quarterback

His real name, Jeff Strobbe.

Hind (ass) sight is perfect?

It is often ass(umed) to be.

I want you to watch this video.

You don’t have to.

I suggest you do, especially if you have a gun.

But even if you don’t.

The officer shooting himself in hand here is not that surprising.

He actually used his hand well in the instance. And his shooting himself in hand is almost trivial.

He had to not get skewered.

He and most likely his partner’: fire was sufficient to stop the threat.

Actually up to there, things went about as well as could be hoped.

The real problem is after officer falls over the massive clutter, again not unexpected given the horror and the clutter.

The real bad thing is that when officer stands back up, he muzzles his partner’s head and chest.

As for the perp being dead, that is “good.”

Your asshole Gunday Morning QB

Oh and obviously I am on reviwer’s ass a little.

Hey, I am an asshole.


I expect you to ride my ass too. You up to it?


Subject X: no question

There was this character called, Question Mark. He really was merely a moniker for not knowing if Subject X were true.

There is no longer a question of that.

For an MK to achieve this degree, level of clarity is likely unprecedented.

I saw this video a while back.

I didn’t show you at time.

I don’t know person who made it. I don’t even no if it is true.

It would not surprise me.

I think the maker gets a tad hyperbolic.

But who is to say.

Question Mark huh?

If I can find it again, I will put it in.

It is a lot to digest. You may not want to.

It may be what some call disinformation….

There is likely some truth. There typically is.


I saw something else last night too. A full size truck going wrong way up North University by college. I was praying no one came over top of hill and hit them. One car did pass them but thankfully was in another lane. All I could really do was “follow” and pray. Thankfully whoever figured it out and got over. I didn’t “ring” them up. I did have my phone ready. I continued to follow then a while. They were not swerving or weaving or speeding so I let it go.

They were going where I was, coincidence. I didn’t go out of my way to follow them.

I don’t recommend you do that.

In my assessment, they were not “intoxicated” merely on unfamiliar roads….

I ain’t a cop, and I don’t “play” cop.

I ain’t a medic anymore. I don’t play medic.

I don’t do security anymore either except for a small sample size.

If I am out and about, my sample size may increase.


You think I am perfect?

I ain’t.

I just try not to miss anything in the super unknown.

I almost called cops. You probably think cops are super men or women. They ain’t. No one is.


I don’t like talking to cops much. I don’t like sending cops after people much.

I had the truck model and noted the tag.

If I had thought Driver was drunk etc., I would have called 911.

I didn’t feel they were drunk.

So it was best for ALL to let it go.


Responder Debrief

Responders see things that most never do.

So there is typically a protocol for responders to be debriefed in terms of what they saw and the oitcome(s(.

Like tonight, cops and medics and firemen saw a person hit by a car and thrown some distance.

Impact was probably at least 45 mph.

The Mechanism of Injury (MOI) in this instance is blunt force trauma from a 2 ton vehicle traveling at 45 mph.

That amount of force does terrible things to people.

Not to mention, unfortunately, we have had around 9 murders so far this year.

It takes a toll….


When I saw the person in street tonight, not moving, and suspecting the above MOI, I pretty much knew it was a fatality.

It brought back memories….

You have to be a tad cold.


You ever OODA anything?

You ever investigate anything?

You ever respond to an emergency?

You ever done it all day, everyday?

You ever drive balls out with sirens on?


I have done all of the above.

And I am pretty much satiated.,,,


Saw something really sad tonight during work

I was finishing one delivery and headed to a second when at University and Woodlawn here in town, I saw a pedestrian laying on University. Apparently struck by a vehicle.

I saw person was not moving. I did not go to help as medics had just arrived.

I can’t say for sure person was dead. But unfortunately all signs point to that.

The road was shut down for quite a while which typically means a thorough investigation is going on and that almost always means fatality.

And like I said person was not moving.

Later on I saw a news truck there, another bad sign.

I am mindful there because it is kind of dark and there is often pedestrian traffic.

I HOPE person is OK.

But I don’t think they are. 😕

Dang it.

I just saw this on my Facebook.

I was hoping my gut was wrong.



I mad at guns.

I can’t get those 3 grannies out of my head.


Grannies, I still can’t explain the time difference. I see you all, especially the last of you, but all.

I see you too young lady and old man.

No one was there for you.

You didn’t know what to do.

And all us geniuses could not help at all.

Best I can figure, you had to shoot.

But the geniuses have other ideas I guess.

I can’t teach anyone to shoot.

Anyway grannies, I got to go now.


God help me.

RIP grannies, young lady, old man

What would Jesus do?

You see him?

I don’t know much about Jesus.


New Gun(s)?

If I want to get a funny look, I may go into a New to me gun store and ask, “What you got in Super Big?”

Other possibility:

“What is this Z kick?”

If I really want to get a look:

“Where are Z assault rifles?”

“See this boom box? I carry it with me on my left shoulder like this all the time. What gun you recommend for my right hand?”

I am on roller skates, like all the time Mon.

“What do I do if wheels come off? I know. Not your thing.”


Dot Borg has the Com

Resistance is futile?

Not yet. But close.

Ever see the video?

You in tune? With what?


Who runs this Dot Org?

The Dot Borg?

The Bogus Org, Borg.

Says my blog is mostly about Life. Shot. And Hell. Really? What you think? And you think it is really that busy? It is Google. They are Borg.


Spending Freeze? Over?

This spending freeze is addictive.


Oh spending freeze. Oh spending freeze.

When it is over, I will look like Pat Benatar?

So many wanted to look like her. I never did. I like the music though.


My critique of me, first take

Right hand, for now, nice. Nice but, I want you (me) to pursue a faster mash of Z trigger. But gun is Rock Steady, and you were “fast” but you know you got better in you. But keep that grip as is.

In this transition to left hand, I want you faster. And most won’t see it, but left hand wobbled some on that 12 pound trigger.

Hold grip tighter, and you will be right there.

Work on better grip transitions in terms of obtaining the optimal grip every time. Key the thumbs and their position during transition to and fro.

(Suggest getting two holsters and two guns, work on drawing both one handed at same time. Hey you ain’t the best developer in world for nothing.)

I don’t like dry fire that much really. Y’all can do it. You know I recommend Airsoft instead!

I do see merit in hold drills.


Man, working two shifts a week is rough. Next time, I vote communist.

I am kidding.

I didn’t look hard for work this week.

I told you I ain’t in a hurry.

One reason I ain’t is I am still healing physically.

I have a ways to go.

Plus I ain’t unemployed, just “under employed.”

I will spend less and soon I will work more “full” time.

Hardest part for me will be this: I working again after being off four days.




Subject X: training granny

Granny: Those stories you tell true?

X: Good question.

Granny: Those stories they tell about you true?

X: Depends on the story granny.

What you want to know granny?

Granny: You see what happened at the mall?

X: I did.

Granny: You teach me to shoot?

X: What makes you think I can?

Granny: I read your blog.

X: Well read it again granny. You mostly have to teach yourself.

I will help you find your way though….

You ever touched a gun?

Granny: Nope.


X left, went to store and purchased a jar of pickles and a jar of strawberry preserves.

He returned to grandma’s house. Maybe I will tell you about it sometime.

He just went in.

What was granny gonna do? Shoot him?

X: Granny? Granny? Here you at?

Granny came rolling in. She had use of her hands, her mind, and her mouth, but not her legs.

X had just met granny. She was out of gas, so to speak.

Granny: What is your name? My name is Grace. But call me Granny. I like that.

X: Can you open these for me? Use a different hand on each one.

Granny: Why?

X: See if you can shoot or not.

Granny grabbed them off counter one at a time and opened as instructed to do, and with out struggle.

X: You will be able to shoot.


Granny rolled into her living room. She put the brakes on her wheel chair, and transferred to her stair lift. She rode it to top of stairs.

There was a second wheel chair there. She stood up from lift to top stair. From there she stepped up and behind wheel chair rolling it to her room.

Then she took her gun out of its holster and set it on nightstand.

It was a Walther PPK.


You think X was shocked Granny acted so familiar with him?

You shocked?

It ain’t that shocking.

Everybody who reads his blog thinks they know him on some level.

And X, he is not really what you might think given the shit he writes.

Well he is and he aint.

Ain’t we all though?


Does it matter what town X is in?

Or what he does there?


And what is up with granny?


Granny knows of this the MK Ultra.

She knew X long before his blogging days.

She is fiction, Granny is.

So is X.

So much lost time.

He can’t claim it. Reclaim. Or exclaim.


Is one draw stroke all you need? Or do you need at least Two?

I was analyzing my draw stroke compared to others.

And I realized the reasons they did theirs and why I did mine and I went through the whole they should be doing mine. And then I could see times I should be doing theirs.

It is a topic that some have touched on. But I find even a lot of them speak of draw stroke like it is singular.

It ain’t.

I mean it is more than two.

It is at least four.

Open. Concealed. Close and Afar.

One hand. Two hand.

To what ready, or fire position?



What do you notice about the head and chest “circles” on these targets?

You “see” where the Folger’s lids are? Find the perp’s lids, shred them until perp stops.


Listen closely to this song.

Who is being sung to?