My Grandma Strobbe died today. 😕

    Joseph, Mildred (holding me), Jerome, Christine, Deborah

I had heard she was doing better. I was again sort of caught off guard.

I am sad.

I didn’t know until I wrote this post.

Everything else I wrote today came before this post.

I am glad I at least sent my thoughts.

She is in heaven now.

She was 94 plus years old.

She joins my aunt Debbie and my grandfather and my other kin who also have passed on such as my greats, grandma O’Donnell and Grandma Humboldt.

My beloved Valentine. She never left us. Grandma O’Donnell never either. She just died earlier. We used to play a game called carrom. And cards too. Me and my greats.

It was not always bad.

But then it was and it never changed back….

I do wish things had been different.

I never knew what to do.

And I was so angry.

***

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrom

***

https://carrom.com/shop/carrom-game-board/

***

For you, Grandma.

I love you,

Jeffrey Scott Strobbe

***

You have to watch this.

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My latest thing (remember that post?) (all fibrous armor) stopped both rounds of 9mm FMJ I fired into it from 3 feet away. I am so stoked!

This armor section can stand alone against handguns and be a section of my rifle armor.

This is a huge step. It means my armor will be incredibly light.

My armor is getting so good.

Here it is.  Back is first and front last. No penetration on back. I also shot it with 22LR and BBs and pellets.

It is really performing well. I have not weighed section but it is essentially nothing.

Remember when I showed you the Polenar Tactical video  where Manca used Fiberfix and it only stopped 22LR and I told you I could fix

that?

Well I have.

I will be spending a range session from 10-12 today and apparently in rain. Slinging in the rain.

I am going rain or not. It is time.

i have not fixed my Pico yet.

I doubt I will before range session.

I want to shoot my 9 mm anyway and test two armor sections.

I have time so I may work on that Pico first. But I tend to doubt it.

More likely I wait, I don’t want to be in a hurry doing it.

Dont expect video. I still have no place to put it,

I likely will video but for my eyes only to review my performance.

My 9mm, and 223 Remington are going for sure.

Today, among the things I will do is firing solutions from vehicles and “buildings.” I will be shooting from an old bus. I can use it to simulate a building too.

Now, I will have to move. That is in a dark confined space.

Now I tend to move in my “missions” with gun holstered. Or if rifle, “slinged.”

I do this on purpose. Moving with a gun in close quarters is dangerous.

There are times to move with platform at ready. But my research says that it is better to secure the weapon first many times.

I find this especially true for civilian “mission.”

I pretty much guarantee you some people will disagree with my notion on this.

But I have my reasons and my mission.

I am quite fortunate to have found this particular range.

It affords me such an opportunity to train and train well.

It is raining but I can stay mostly dry.

Note:

Firing from vehicles is illegal by Ohio statute. It is “allowed” for self defense. If you do it, You better be right. But that is everytime.

You can train like that too as long as you do it at allowed locations etc.

Most ranges you cannot do stuff like this.

But guess what, you are not likely to have a clear firing lane in a dang gun fight.

and fast?

I ain’t even going to be trying to go fast today. Fast is often over rated and problematic especially for civilians.

Slow.

Yep. Slow.

People may disagree with me on this too. It is fine.

Slow.

***

KEEP IT IN THE BERM

***

 

Anybody see how beautiful my brake barrel is yet. Light, OMG light. And short, OMG short. And I only have 1 shot. No sling really required?

***

Anybody ever try to kill you?

‌I don’t talk about it a lot. I try to forget. Ironic since there is so much I am trying to find out.

It changed me.

But when I say I know the feeling, I mean it.

I have been there.

There is a cold hard mean aspect to me. This stems from knowing what it is like to be attacked with deadly intent.

Getting hit by that car door mirror never really phased me.

It was nothing compared to what I have experienced.

Part of reason I am in a pissy mood is my grandmother is in ICU. I found out a few days ago. We are estranged. But it hit me harder than I thought it would. It is a long story. But there is a lot of the little boy in me who loves her.

‎It is my father’s mom. Her name is Mildred. I have not seen my father since I was 8. My grandmother was in my life for about ten more years.

I have not seen her since I was 18, 52 now.

I have had no contact with her and that won’t likely directly change.

I did send word to her via my sister who is in contact with her and my father.

My sister is only one who contacts my father and vice versa.

My sister was only three when my dad left. She does not know what living with him was like.

The last thing my  father gave me?

A gun.

I am pretty good with a gun.

For the longest time, I didn’t know my sister was communicating with my father. No one told me.

They knew I would not approve.

But I never told my sister not to communicate with him. I just cautioned her.

I don’t run other’s lives.

My father has never attempted to contact me, or I him other than one time and my grandfather would not give me his info.

That conversation went quite badly, my fault mostly.

That was last time I talked with my grandfather.

I wish I could do it over.

I can’t.

But there are things that my entire family has kept secret from me. And things I can’t completely recall that happened to me as a child.

There is no way I can tell you about it all.

I don’t remember and no one has ever told me.

They may not know either.

You have no idea what it is like being me.

You can read X all you desire.

***

They left us behind, all of them. My father, my grandfather and my grandmother.

And my father, he really did a number on me. All of us, but especially me.

And then they all left.

That, I recall.

And I recall growing up in the projects.

What a life I have survived.

Lived?

I died a long time ago.

I really did. I remember that too.

***

You ever seen anyone better than me?

***

By the time I was 8, I had already survived three attempts in my life, that I can remember.

There were likely more.

There are reasons I don’t have shaky hands. I been there before.

See, they feel the same about me as I do about them. I can be on a picnic?

Picnic Jeff

I am a kind bastard.

Generally.

I am likely gonna be lazy.

Hey, why not?

I can do lazy, late, shoddy, all of it.

LO thanks for calling Our establishment. I got a name. What is your phone number area code first please?

Deluvery or Digiorno?

What you know comprende the lingo?

Hold on let me get the person in charge,

Nobody ever trained me to answer phone. True story.

I guess I have free rein.